pretty FLOUR!!!

i gota tells u this....last thing i tell u 2day....ok

fiz got served AGAIN friday nite.........WHEN WILL HE LEARN uh?
i covered him in FLOUR..was most funny...........4 me.....obviously NOT HIM.....hahahahahaha!!

OMG....hes not at work in a week.....hes off 4 2 weeks.........wot will i do..........NOOOOOOO!!!!

wank holiday......YEY!!!

oooooooooooo

tis bank holiday 2morro.......whoooo hoooo
u know wot that means.....
4 those of us,with the misfortune of avin the holiday off...it means,we get up....&watch the rain P*ss it down ALL day....
watch crappy....shitty repeats on tv.....yey 4 sunny england!!!!
or....4 those MENTAL enuf(like me on the last bank holiday....nuff said)...we cud pile in the car&drive 2 the coast.....
errrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmm......& b charged thru the nose 4 ice cream...chips&freakin fun rides.....YEY
oh well.....
looks like i shall b watchin.....zulu....sound of music.....or james bond....AGAIN 2morro...<<<<<<<

big(Y)bother...................?????

g'mornin peeps.....

thought id beta show me face....ugly as it is...!

welllllll.....wot can i blog about uhrm?
ere in sunny(ahem)england....tis big bro season AGAIN...tis the biggest pile of SHIT u cud ever ave the misfortune of viewin.....its like they get ALL the lo lifes of society...stick em in a big glass house...& film em.........Y???
r we that much a sad country(ansa's on the bk of a stamp pls) that we get off on watchin otha ppls discomforts uh.....?
the housem8s;the token asian person....the wana b footy wife/SLAG....the FREAK....the cosmetic junkie....ooooooooo,&my favourite....the tourettes sufferer.........FABULOUS....the guys a genious.....ive watched 15 minutes of this programme....but follow it in the tabloids....thats my safe distance....
when this programme 1st broadcast....it was funny as....nasty nick...........jade(kebab)goodie.....who can 4get them?
but its progresively slowly slid dwn the hill of CRAPNESS....
i ave friends(ahem)who watch this religiously....they watch it live....re runs.....Y Y Y......wot is the point.....seen 1....u seen em all....pile of shit.gosh rnt we the lucky 1s uhmmmm?

live long&prosper dudesxx

bloody job worth assholes......................

gota rant bout these 2 things.....

1stly....im avin problems with my mobile phone.....i can not recieve or send pictures with my bloody phone....i ave phoned my network 5 times this week.......each time the supposed KNOWLEDGEABLE person at the other end ave assuured me that THEIR way 2 remedy this problem wud help.............like FECK it will......as of 4.50pm this afternoon......sum 1 from techinical services is gona ring me bk in 30 minutes..............cud sum 1 just ring my house phone ,check..its wor kin.....cos ave they rang me...........ave they FECK!!!!!

2ndly.....my teenage son is off on a residential in a month,with school.....get this.....£130 4 3 days worht of activities.....& a list as long as my arm of essential ITEMS he needs..........OMG....

soooooooooooo 2day,i ave stood in a sports shop....with a BILLION other moms&dads this afternoon........w8in 4 sum arsehole 2 serve me...........wud it b so freakin difficult uh.....all i wanted was a pair of size 11 karrimor walkin shoes.....any 1 wud think i was askin 4 an audience with the pope...bet that wud ave been easier.....
hence me askin SEVERAL yts's type ppls 4 a size 11........& bein told that they wud serve me in 2 minutes....i lost the plot,........yey.........................went MENTAL.................screamed....shouted.....& ranted...............got me size 11 karrimor's tho.......then my daughter asked if we cud queue 4 sum baby pink converse........errrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm.....after w8in 37 minutes..............NO!!!!!

bet they wudnt ave been so slow if id ave walked outa the freakin shop with em..............ARSEholes...........

ne 1 rang my phone yet.......oooooooh....the numbers..... 118 118....ring&check 4 me....

live long&prosper dudes x x

fiz gets served..............

g'day shiny happy peeps

young fiz keeps tellin me i MUST keep postin....but i dnt do HALF as much interestin stuff as he does....mine consists of work.....quite borin i know.....

i do gota let u know this tho......friday evenin....i was workin(4 a change)young fiz was avin 2 assist me ....as in standin guard,lol
he then ad 2 dash 2 the lav.....(handicapped 1 i may add.....make from that wot u may.....ahemmmm)
ne how.....as he went in,he locked the door & as he did so.....i opened the cleanin cupboard rite besides the loo door.......hence givin fiz about a 10" openin........when he tried 2 open the door.....was sooooooooooo funny.....he couldnt get out....all u cud c was his little(ahem)arm tryin in vain 2 get his hand on the other handle......tryin 2 escape........as 4 me......his most TRUSTED fwend in the place.....wot was I doin.....well i was laid on the floor...............LAFFIN out loud...................hahahahahahahaha................fiz gets served....

live long&prosper dudes x x

big old car burger.........

g'day peeps

just a quicky.....har har
fiz sent me a link the other day....i dnt know HOW 2 do this....cos of me learnin difficulties...&my tardyness....www.your.tube.co.uk
FULL of angry kids............OMG......i LOVE this little ginga minga.....hes sooooooo funkin funny
ave just spent the best part of an hour....sat in front of my screen laffin.....hahahahahaha....bit p*ssed off now tho.....cos my sons quotin em.....chapter&verse!!!!

check the tourettes 1 out.............funny AS!!!
my kinda warped sense o humour.......<<<<<<<

ooooooooooooooops

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm.......ave been advised by my lawyer.....mr fiz...offatfiz&c/o....that i ave 2 b careful wot i post....apperantly i cud get shouted at,hahahahahaha...............who gives a poopy tho......he IS thick.....he IS hopeless.....................sorryx

zooooom zoooooom....zooooooooooooooom!

shit....shit.................SHEEEEEEEEEETTT

i gets up as normal.....bout 2.30 on sat afternoon.....walks downstairs....
the 1st thing im greeted with.........an envolope....addressed 2 humberside police station....im mr minj's handwrittin....
my 1st thoughts........fook...wots happened now
then he spoke.....u sleep well....ermmmmm....yea....
wots with the letter uhrm....?
its 4 u dear(ahem)...............oh?
humberside.....leme think........FCUK...........
by this time,a penny the size of humberside drops.......FCUKITY fcuk
did u ave a nice time at the c side dear....asks mr HAPPY....
errrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm.....shit,think,think.......i thought of sayin,i was hi jacked by sum but ugly martians.....
didn't work.....
sooooooooooo.......after drivin 4 the last almost 10 years......im now the proud owner of my very 1st speedin fine....shit
APPARENTLY.....its WRONG(who invents these rools uhm?)2 drive at 46 m p h....in a 30 zone............mardy fcukas ......& theyre givin me 3 points....& a £60 fine,or is it OR a fine......cant remember......soooooo.....im banned from long car journeys....alone....unless i use the snooper thingy we've got......
oh happy days uhmmmm

live long&prosper dudesxxx

take THAT & party,mmmmmmmm

ooooooooooooooooo

i gota tell sum 1

39 more sleeps till i go c 4 sexy mancurians in cardiff......mmmmmmmmmmm

u wana ticket fiz....or did u manage 2 outbid that 1 on ebay,mmmmxxx

mmmmmmmmmm,live long&prosper dudesx

guess who's bk................

greetins pop pickers.....

soz its bin so long.....dnt ave that much 2 ramble about...unlike fizz....& i doubt any1s missed me,lol
ne how.........wota week......mostly work....is there anything ELSE 2 do,ffs
we ave a new security type ARSEHOLE at work....his name.....get this......jonathan king................hahahahahahaha.....no,seriously......how freakin funny is that!
now the reason i call them arseholes,is we work in a not 2 luffly part of town....u know the type....we r on 1st name terms with most of the(ahem)ladys of the nites....who on a good nite cum in & spend a full £10....mostly on tin foil....got me baffled this did,cos theyre NOT the most cleanest of peeps...&here was me,thinkin after a hard nite at it....they'd b goin home 2 bake a cake.....errrmmm...apparently NOT<<<<<
anyway.....bk 2 r security PPLS????
we ave 1 thats on nites with us....all of 7 stone,&thats wet thru.....his boots r HUGE,as r his EARS&he looks like the b*stard love child of DOBBY(house elve harry potter)&gollum..........as thick AS,& quite possibly the MOST borin man in the UNIVERSE....leme give u a 4 instance....if ur not WHITE....u wear a tracky,a hoody,or a baseball hat.....then SHIT urself.....cos his methods of surveilance r FRIGHTENIN....he will b on aisle 13,whilst the PERPETWAITOR(hahaha)is on aisle 5.........how the FOOK can he c em nickin uh....do they go 2 security guard school,& cum equipt wiv XRAY specs uhrm?
the ONLY time we c ANY movement outa him is when the local police cum in......JEYZUS tis FUNNY...he rocks on his toes.....fiddles with his pen....hand on chin.....& winks,&says hello a GAZZILION times..much 2 mine&fiz's amusement.....jeyzus...the cops LOATHE him,the local robbers LURVE him,cos the can rob OWT.....im SURE he creams his little boxers,lol...
so me& fiz wud like 2 ask 4 ur help...........this is a PLEA from the heart....
we NEED donations....any amount will do....no amounts is 2 small....the reason 4 this......?
we need 2 "sort" this love child of dobby out.....& we want it done rite....& that costs.....so plsssssssssssssss......send us ur hard earned cash....we need at least another £19.48.....hahahahaha..............
dig deep folks.....u know we deserve this...

live long&prosper dudesxx

good mornin shiny happy ppls

2 those of u who were FORCED by fiz 2 cum say hi............spank ux

this is probably the only time u will eva c me bein speechless......
4 those that know me,they KNOW minj&bein QUIET....not words associated in the same sentence.....fiz will verify this
i gotta say tho....when i eventually get in 2 the swing of this....i hope that i can entertain....or at least make u smile a little,pmsl!
but 4 now,till i can think of sumthin....thisis my postin 4 2day....pretty shitty i know...
not as entertainin as fiz's.....but when i c him at the probation office later....THEN i may ave sum funny anctedotes....till then....

live long&prosper dudes......xx

grab ur coat love.........

g'mornin peeps

gosh...where 2 start.........?
rite.....ere goes.....
thursday nite @ work.....i came down from my little cubby hole 2 find fizz&deviant stood slaverin.....the reason 4 this....1 of the young girlies from the tills!! she ad cum 2 work,then got dressed 2 go out,nothin wrong with this u may say....but by all accounts she looked FIT AS.....a skirt up 2 ere...a top that left little 2 the imagination...a figure 2 die 4....&legs that go on 4 eva....
now,u gota understand this..........shes STUNNIN & rumour has it.....she likes a little 1 on 1 girly action 2....well,u can sorta understand the way fiz&deviant were thinkin

soooo,not bein 1 2 shy away from things....i spent all last nite txtin this perdy young thing...i decided 2 ask if she was indeed a lover of all things PINK...the ansa much 2 fizz's delights was...HELL YEA..
she then spent the rest of the night givin me names of girlies at work whom she adored...& started flirtin with ME.....whooooaaaaaaa....hubba hubba ;-)
wots a gal 2 do mmmmm.....i ad 2 flirt rite bk at her,lol.....whilst givin fizza blo(pardon the punn)by blo run down of the convo,pmsl... gosh.....dont men kinda like a bit o girl on girl action..............hahahahahaha....

a CERTAIN person wanted me 2 ask her 4 a gratious shot.....bikini,or other,lol.....i did......

MAYBE if ur all good peeps.....i may share it,hahahahahaha

live long&prosper dudes.....x

grab a seat........................

well,good evenin young ppls
fiz as finaly convinced me(&i ave the bruises 2 prove it)2 get me 1 of these ere "blog" sites
u must 4give me initialy.....cos i shall b talkin more shite than fiz does...if possible?

i shall also say now......i tend 2 say wot a lot of otha (nice)ppls think.......i talk 1st.....think l8r

but i shall try.............nothin ventured uh

the name from this site....well,lets just say.............im NOT gona b short of PLATES now am i.........hahahahaha..................

OMG....wot if im talkin with myself....nothin new really,but hey ho.......
UNTIL i ave grasped this totaly new concept....& HOW 2 put pics on.......b patient!!

live long&prosper dudesx

minj

welcome all.............

grab a seat....................& a plate...